


Back to Her

by CanonConvergence18



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Post-Battle of Hogwarts, Reunions, Romance, i'm not good with tags
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:01:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24010252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CanonConvergence18/pseuds/CanonConvergence18
Summary: Ginny and Harry have a much needed chat after the Battle of Hogwarts.
Relationships: Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley
Comments: 6
Kudos: 67





	Back to Her

**Author's Note:**

> Full disclosure: I hate a lot of things about the last fifty or so pages of Deathly Hallows. It felt pretty clear to me that right after Rowling finished writing Harry's death march, she pretty much just phoned the rest of it in. However, if there was one thing in particular that stood out to me, it was that she never gave Harry and Ginny the reunion they deserved. But hey, that's what fan fiction is for, right? Enjoy!

The air was cool and clear on top of the Astronomy Tower. It was one of the only places in the castle that didn’t smell like smoke or blood. The battle had mostly avoided the tower, leaving it relatively intact compared to the rest of the castle.

That also made it one of the only places where Ginny could be alone. It had been almost thirty-six hours since Voldemort’s death, but the castle was still swarming with people. After Kingsley’s quick recapture of the Ministry, Hogwarts have become the center of an extraordinary amount of activity. First, what was left of the Aurors had taken away the surviving Death Eaters being held in the dungeons. Then began the monumental task of assessing the damage done to the school and beginning repairs.

And, of course, the horrible, heart wrenching process of counting the dead.

A remarkable number of witches and wizards had come to defend Hogwarts from the Death Eaters. Not all had survived. In a sober, painful moment earlier that day, Kingsley had reflected that the impacts of the war would be felt for generations to come.

That evening, in just a couple hours, there would be a grand memorial on the ground honoring the fallen. Those relatively few who hadn’t participated in the battle were pouring in from all overt the country by portkey, Floo, and broom. From the tower, Ginny could see tiny figures setting up chairs, podiums, and making other preparations for what would likely be the largest gathering of British wizardkind in modern memory.

At a certain point, it had all become too much for Ginny to handle. Her mother had insisted on helping the house-elves with food preparations, despite the fact that they had absolutely no need to such assistance. But it helped her to stay busy, to feel like she was being useful, and Professor McGonagall had persuaded the elves to allow it. Her father and Bill had spent the whole day combing every inch of the castle and grounds, ensuring that no malevolent spells or charms were left over from the Death Eater’s stay. Percy, as one of the few remaining senior Ministry officials, was coordinating the memorial. Charlie was helping Hagrid round up the numerous creatures that had escaped during the battle, including the entire herd of thestrals, which had fled into the Forest as soon as the fighting started. Ron followed Hermione wherever she went, as if terrified to let her out of his sight.

And George sat alone in a distant corner of the grounds, barely acknowledging the world around him.

Ginny had tried to help each of them at different points during the day and found that none of it could distract her from the bleeding hole in her heart. Every time she closed her eyes, the faces of friends and family she’d lost flashed across her mind.

Colin Creevey, always overeager and earnest, but who had never hesitated to help. During the last year, as Ginny had helped lead the insurgency against the Carrows, Colin had always been the first to volunteer, no matter how dangerous the task was.

Lavender Brown, who Ginny had frankly never been able to stand, but challenged Alecto Carrow’s hideous lies in Muggle Studies every week without fail.

Remus Lupin, the first teacher at Hogwarts to compliment Ginny on her facility with jinxes and curses and encourage her to keep up her studies.

Tonks, who despite their age difference, had always treated Ginny like an equal she respected, not just another kid.

And Fred. It always came back to Fred. No matter what she did, she couldn’t get the memory of stumbling into the Great Hall and seeing his body laying amongst the other dead out of her head; thinking at first that it must be a mistake, that he must have just been injured or knocked out, only to see the truth on the stricken faces of her family.

So, at a certain point she’d decided there was no escaping it, and she’d simply sought out a place where no one would ask how she was doing, or try to cheer her up or commiserate. Where she could simply be alone with her grief.

But even here, people still found her.

She heard the footsteps coming up the stairwell in time to wipe her eyes on her sleeve and try to compose herself somewhat. Maybe whoever it was would go away once they saw someone was already here. Hopefully, they weren’t looking for _her_ specifically.

As it turned out, that someone _was_ looking for her. But luckily, it wasn’t as bad as she’d feared.

She saw messy black hair followed quickly by a tall, lanky figure with crooked glasses and a lightning bolt scar.

Ginny breathed a sigh of relief as Harry emerged on the landing. As much as she’d wanted to be alone, she was oddly relieved to see her…what was he now? Friend? Boyfriend? Ex-boyfriend? There were so many questions between them. A year ago, on these very grounds, Harry had said they couldn’t see each other anymore. It had been pretty unambiguous. Then again, it sounded like he hadn’t been seeing _anyone_ since then. Literally, if the story about camping turned out to be true. She couldn’t help wondering where that left them. Would he want to pick back up where they’d left off? Maybe a year away had changed his mind about her. Maybe he’d seen too much, been through too much, to want a relationship right now.

Maybe she had too.

Harry interrupted her musings with a small smile. “Mind if I join you?”

Ginny shook her head, not trusting herself to speak. Harry walked over and joined her at the rampart, leaning heavily on the edge and looking down at the grounds, much as she’d been doing only moments before. However, the commotion down on the grass could no longer hold her attention now that he was so close.

They’d barely had any chance to interact since his return. First there had been the battle, with all the chaos and fear that came with people trying to kill you. Then, the less dangerous, but equally draining insanity that came after. Harry had been constantly drawn this way and that, everyone seeking the attention of their savior, the Chosen One. She’d caught brief glimpses of him speaking with reporters, greeting visitors, having hushed, important-looking conversations with Kingsley. There had been no time for more than passing nods, acknowledging each other with brief glances and strained smiles.

Now, she could fully take in the changes that the last year had wrought in him. Harry had always been thin, bordering on scrawny, but now he looked downright malnourished. She knew through third hand accounts from Bill that Harry, Hermione, and Ron had struggled to feed themselves during their time on the run, but she was still struck by the hollowness in his cheeks and the way his clothes hung loosely on his frame. That, combined with the still lingering bruises and healing cuts covering his face and arms made him look oddly…fragile. In all the time she’d known him, Ginny had never seen him look as weak as he did now.

And that was just the physical. Harry had never been good at hiding what he was feeling, and it was clear that he was suffering just as much as she was right now. His eyes were red and bloodshot from grief, and his mouth was turned down at the corners. He moved gingerly, as if his wounds ran far deeper than the ones she could see. Which, of course, they did. In all, Ginny felt like she was looking in a mirror.

For a moment she thought about asking him how he was doing, then immediately thought better of it. She knew exactly how he was doing; it was how _all_ of them were doing. So she just waited for him to explain why he’d sought her out.

After a while, Harry gave a deep sigh and turned to look her straight on. She took comfort that his bright green gaze was the same as always, even when puffy and swollen from crying.

“Sorry I haven’t come to see you sooner,” he said, and Ginny could hear the exhaustion in his voice.

She shrugged. “It’s fine. We’ve both had a lot to do. It’s not like I’m more important than the Minister.”

She tried to make it sound like a joke, but Harry looked deadly serious. “No, it’s exactly like that. I should’ve come right away.”

“Seriously, you don’t have to worry, Harry,” she repeated, trying to ignore the sudden stinging in her eyes. “You don’t owe me anything, there’s loads of other people who need you right now.”

“They can piss right off,” Harry said bluntly, surprising Ginny into silence. “You’re more important.”

She scoffed. “More important than the Minister of Magic?”

“Yeah, you are. Besides, we both agreed I deserved a little break. You know, being the person who killed Voldemort.” His lips quirked imperceptibly, and her heart almost broke at the effort he was displaying for her. The weight of everything she’d seen and done the past two days threatened to drive her to the ground and breathing was suddenly difficult.

“What’s going on, Harry? I haven’t seen you in almost a year, and I know why you had to leave, and why you couldn’t bring me with you or write me or anything, but it’s still been really _fucking_ _hard_!” The words were pouring out of her now, everything she’d being trying _not_ to think about but couldn’t avoid now that Harry was right in front of her. “I’ve basically been _alone_ here, trying to deal with the Carrows and Snape, wondering the whole time where you were, if you were even still _alive_ , or if I’d ever _see_ you again! And I missed you, and I was angry with you and there were days when I would’ve given _anything_ just to hear your voice for a _second_! Now you’re here and I don’t have a clue what I’m supposed to _feel_ or _think_! I just don’t fucking _know_! _”_

Her voice rose towards the end and, despite herself, she couldn’t stop the tears that sprang to her eyes, running down tracks that hadn’t had time to dry in days. She tried to turn away, knowing that such displays tended to scare him and not wanted to humiliate herself more than she already had.

But a pair of surprisingly strong hands took hold of her shoulders and kept her from fleeing. She felt a dull shock as Harry pulled her into an embrace, his arms wrapping tightly around her. It didn’t even occur to her to protest, and she buried her face into his shoulder, unable to hold onto her composure any longer. All the pain, confusion, and grief poured out of her, no matter how hard she tried to keep it down. Uncontrolled sobs wracked her body and through it all Harry just held her tight, softly stroking the back of her hair.

He didn’t let go, even as she began to calm slightly, and she made no move to free herself. The contact seemed to ground her, and she was suddenly afraid that if he stopped holding her, she’d just drift away into nothingness.

“I thought about you every day.” Harry’s voice was quiet and thick with his own tears. “Each night I would find you on the Marauder’s Map, just to see your name. Even though I couldn’t talk to you and didn’t know what you were doing. It made me feel less alone.”

Oddly, Ginny found the thought comforting, as if he’d been watching over her.

“Some days, the only reason I managed to keep going was the thought of what would happen to you if we failed,” he went on. “I knew that even if something happened to me, at least you’d be safe.”

The idea of _anything_ happening to Harry threatened to start her crying all over again, and she instinctively held him even tighter.

“That’s what I wanted to come up here to tell you. I needed you to know how much you mean to me. How much I love you. How much I’ve _always_ loved you.”

Fresh tears welled in her eyes, and she didn’t trust herself to look at him. “You love me?”

She felt him nod against the top of her head. “More than anyone, more than _anything_ in the world.”

Suddenly she was crying again, awash in a new, bewildering mix of emotions. Harry _loved_ her? _Harry Potter_ loved _her_? Elation and relief warred with confusion and uncertainty and she felt like she might never get her feet under her.

“I’m _so_ sorry I left you, Gin,” Harry said, voice tight with emotion. “Even though I had to, I’ll _always_ be sorry for leaving you. But I swear I won’t, ever again, if you’ll have me back.”

Ginny hiccuped, not feeling like she could trust what her senses were telling her. “So, you still wanna be with me.”

“Yes, I do,” he said immediately. “I mean, only if you do too. I know a year’s a long time. I understand if you don’t feel the same anymore.”

She pulled away from his embrace just enough to look up incredulously at him. He looked as much a mess as she felt, but still more beautiful than anything she’d ever seen. “Are you daft? Of course I do! It’s _always_ been you, Harry, before I even knew what that meant. It always _will_ be.”

For the first time, Harry’s face broke out into a genuine smile; one tinged with sadness and heartache, but real all the same. “That’s honestly such a relief. I didn’t want to assume anything.”

Ginny shook her head, crying and smiling at the same time. “Nice of you to check, but you don’t have to worry, Harry. I’d have traded _anything_ in the world for _half a minute_ with you. I’m yours as long as you want me.”

Harry’s smile widened. “You might regret that after a few decades, you know.”

She gave a watery laugh, feeling lightheaded and out of sorts. “Do you mind telling me when the hell you got so good with words, by the way? The Harry _I_ knew wouldn’t have been able to string all that together.”

Harry gave a rueful chuckle. “I had a lot of time to think about what I’d say to you, if I ever got the chance. And after what we’ve been through…” He trailed off, his gaze going slightly distant. “Well, life’s too short to keep stuff bottled up.”

That caused Ginny to sober a bit as she reflected that he was right. It was hard not to think about the things she’d never get a chance to say now. “Then, in the interest of not keeping anything bottled up, I love you too, Harry. More than I’ll _ever_ be able to say.”

A bit of Harry’s smile returned, and he leaned down to press his lips softly against hers. And for one brief, wonderful, perfect moment, it was just the two of them. Soon, they’d have to go down to the memorial, and be reminded of what their world had lost before looking to the future. But right now, right here, Ginny could forget all of that and focus on one, happy truth:

Harry had finally come back to her.


End file.
